Today I spent the morning working in the office. I did talk to some people in the afternoon, but all were for work stuff. I got bored through all of it. They were talking and laughing at the same time over things, the humor of which I couldn't quite figure out. Oh, maybe I was just sleepy.

I have over a hundred applicants for our job openings. Some applicants are simply crazy. We have audit/accounting managers applying for account project managers position. We have applicants applying for positions which were not posted. We have gym instructors applying for web designer and developer positions. I wonder if they read job descriptions and requirements at all. Or maybe we were not clear? Or just how clear do we need to be til everyone understands what we need? I hear the admin officer's heavy breathing. She's as tired as I am. Next week's gonna be hell, am sure.

I like weekends. I can do my work without being bothered much. Outside it is raining. I wonder if there's someone out there who's doing the same thing I'm doing now. Looking out the window, just enjoying the rain. I dare not look down as there's so much of reality down there. There's a slum area just in front of the office where I work, and while I stay at a nice room with nice furnitures and all, there's a whole mess outside I know I just can't ignore by looking away.

I wanna look, but I just can't keep doing it without doing anything to help. I should do something, but how? Even the president is powerless now to do anything about it. There's a whole lot of difference between inside and outside this place. I am in control of what's inside, but outside, I can't do anything. There is a kid playing on top of the tin roof of one of the houses. I wonder where his parents are. Why is he allowed to play?

If it were me here 8 years ago, would I have done a different thing? Would I have refused work life like this to be with the struggling masses and live where they are now? And perhaps be in those street crusades against the government as a friend is still doing now?

I wonder too if I really was idealistic as I thought I was. Was it real idealism, or was it just infatuation that filled my mind then? I wanted to be where he was every day--was it only an excuse to be with him?